How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
