So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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