Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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