One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
