but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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