There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
