My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
