i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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