SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
