My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize