Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You ruined the universe
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize