Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
