some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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