who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it wasn't lemon gatorade
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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