Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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