when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
