Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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