ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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