we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
