in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize