You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
