it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
