Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
it glows. i had to have it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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