I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
