And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
