dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you would pick up someone in the library
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
