i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I supernannyed him into submission
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
