I don't think brook has ever known best
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
