she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
