ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
