your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
