It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
