His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
