Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
only if we run a train.
done.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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