the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
