Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
