We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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