we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
false alarm, still single
Randomize
