i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't turn off my feet"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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