so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
