how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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