Kiss
Puke
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She announced her abortion via fbk
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
