dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Another day, another engagement, another cat
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
