haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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