i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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