He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
