Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
