Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
