Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
