my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
