It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
