I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Randomize