Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
only you would photoshop your dick
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
