you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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