i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Found the puke drawer
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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