I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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