you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
