i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
